1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:01,169 . 2 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:02,070 - Hey! Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud here! 3 00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:06,240 And I'm about to make it rain savings! 4 00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:08,209 [laughs] 5 00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:10,511 15% off all dental products! 6 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:11,812 You want the tooth? 7 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,315 You can't handle the tooth! 8 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,450 Meatballs with a chance of clouds? 9 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:17,818 Give me a break! 10 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:18,819 A dance break! 11 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,822 [upbeat electronic music] 12 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,491 * 13 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,126 [dramatic music] 14 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,127 male announcer: He killed 14 people 15 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,228 and ate the meat off their bones. 16 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:28,262 - [groans] 17 00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:29,397 announcer: That's what the FBI has claimed 18 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,698 about Daniel Hertzler, 19 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,434 better known to millions as Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud. 20 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:37,071 - Damn, when white people go crazy, they really do it up. 21 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:39,107 - Yeah, we pretty much still have the market cornered 22 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,074 on serial killing. 23 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:42,410 It's one of the last non-integrated industries. 24 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,113 - Okay, look, this is not the best in-store viewing. 25 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,347 Amy, could you change it? 26 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,348 - Right. Got it. 27 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,349 Um... 28 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,683 Oh. - Oh, no, no. 29 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,119 No, that just made it worse. 30 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,486 - Yeah, thank you, Jonah. 31 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,455 - I'm sorry, Amy, could you just let me do it? 32 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,257 Do you mind if I try? Thank you. 33 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,391 male announcer: And purchased at a Cloud 9 store. 34 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,559 - Oh, no. 35 00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,693 announcer: All the victims were sawed into 36 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,429 evenly portioned pieces 37 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,098 with their genitals preserved in pickling jars. 38 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:05,099 - That makes sense. - Oh. 39 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,200 - We sell pickle jars? 40 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,568 - No, no. - It's not working. 41 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,238 We're gonna have to drown this out. 42 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,106 Everybody sing, okay? 43 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,408 * Down in the valley where Ezekiel wept * 44 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,644 * Cry, Ezekiel, cry 45 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,312 Come on, what's wrong with you? 46 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,248 Garrett, give me a beat or something. 47 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:21,249 Anything. 48 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,450 - [beatboxing] - Okay. 49 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,585 * The finger of the devil is poking through the foam * 50 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,288 all: * Cry, Ezekiel, cry - Cry it out! 51 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:30,258 - * And the slide to hell goes all the way down * 52 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,892 all: * Cry, Ezekiel, cry 53 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:32,893 - Cry it out! 54 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,896 [upbeat music] 55 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,665 * 56 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,168 - As most of you may have heard, our company spokesman 57 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,670 has been accused of some improprieties. 58 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,472 - By improprieties, you mean killing 59 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,539 and eating people, right? 60 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:48,342 Or is there a tax evasion thing going on as well? 61 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,477 - The killing and eating. 62 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:53,214 I can't speak to his tax situation. 63 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,216 Anyway, does anybody have any questions? 64 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:58,386 - What is the difference between a zombie and a cannibal? 65 00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,321 - Oh, okay, a zombie is undead, 66 00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:03,191 and a cannibal's just, like, a dude who eats people. 67 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:06,294 - So I kind of meant work-related questions. 68 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,295 - But I'm right though? 69 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,262 - He is correct. 70 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,497 - I have a work-related question. 71 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:12,333 What security measures are we taking to avoid revenge crimes? 72 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,434 - Revenge crimes? 73 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,237 - Families of the victims trying to eat us as payback. 74 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,571 I mean, that's what I would do. 75 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:20,241 - Okay, let's not rush to judgment. 76 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,376 These are just allegations. 77 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,245 I'm sure he didn't do it. 78 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,279 - Wait, Glenn? 79 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,515 Why are you so sure he didn't do it? 80 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:31,785 - Because, Amy, I met Kyle at a corporate conference last year. 81 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,188 We had a great conversation. 82 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:36,290 He seemed like a good guy. 83 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,191 - Well, that settles it. 84 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,193 I guess there's no reason for a trial. 85 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:42,563 - I am telling you, there is no way that good man 86 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,533 could have done this horrible thing. 87 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,567 Right, Jeff? 88 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,471 - Uh-huh. 89 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,474 [upbeat jazz music] 90 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:59,280 * 91 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:03,284 - You know, this was creepy even before he murdered people. 92 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,219 - This paint smells like wet dog, 93 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:07,721 and it's gonna take at least three coats to cover this. 94 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,357 This is the worst day ever. 95 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,325 - The worst. 96 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:14,528 - I mean, obviously, Kyle the Cloud's victims-- 97 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:15,763 - Yeah. No, no. 98 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,999 - Had a worse day when he ate their flesh off their bones. 99 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,335 - Terrible day. That was a terrible day. 100 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:22,336 Goes without saying. Yeah. 101 00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,305 - Yeah. 102 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,375 - Although, at least their suffering is over, you know? 103 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,310 Ours has just begun. 104 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:30,778 - Is it insensitive that I'd rather 105 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,313 be in Kyle the Cloud's basement? 106 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,113 - No. 107 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,648 At least you could read down there. 108 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,716 - And it would be so dark and cool. 109 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,452 - So dark and cool. 110 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:39,753 - That would be so nice. 111 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,724 - That's my baby sleeping. 112 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:44,825 - Oh, cool. - Aww. 113 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,427 - Sleeping. 114 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,227 - [chuckles] So cute. 115 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,730 - Sleeping. - Like a little angel. 116 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:50,731 - Sleeping. 117 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:54,535 Oh. Oh, my gosh, this next one's kind of funny. 118 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,470 Sleeping. [laughs] 119 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,672 - Okay, guys, guys, guys, I need everyone's opinion. 120 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,841 Especially you, Garrett, since your brand is telling it 121 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:01,842 like it is. 122 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:02,843 - Oh, thank you for noticing. 123 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,313 - - Did you guys pick up on any weird tension 124 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,847 between me and Jeff at that meeting? 125 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,317 'Cause I think he might be into me. 126 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:14,422 - [laughing] 127 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,489 Oh, I thought you were joking. 128 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,490 - [softly] No. 129 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:17,558 - I am so sorry. 130 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,593 [whispers] Stop bullying, Sandra. 131 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:22,062 - Why do you think he's into you? 132 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,064 - Okay, the last time he was here, 133 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,367 he came up to me at the end of the day, 134 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,370 looked me straight in the eyes and said, 135 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,371 "I noticed you." 136 00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,772 - [gasps] 137 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,508 He said, "I noticed you"? 138 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,677 Ooh, Jeff is slutty. 139 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,379 [laughter] 140 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:41,582 - Okay, it's not what he said, it's how he said it. 141 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:42,583 It wasn't like... 142 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,584 [dead-pan] "I noticed you." 143 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:46,487 It was like... 144 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,755 [whispering] "I noticed you." 145 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,790 No, that wasn't it. 146 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,659 It was more like... 147 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,561 [in deep voice] "I noticed you." 148 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:54,728 Ah, that sounded Scottish. 149 00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:55,863 male announcer: Police discovered a secret 150 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,532 dungeon where the actor would videotape himself 151 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,634 dismembering and devouring his victims, 152 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,570 often while in cloud costume. 153 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,871 - Oh, God. 154 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,739 - I've said it once, I'll say it again: 155 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,808 you are a terrible judge of character. 156 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,511 Also you have a weak chin and you can't dance. 157 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:11,879 announcer: Additional items found on the property 158 00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,681 were a coffin filled with hair 159 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,749 and several small bags of marijuana. 160 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,885 - Wait, they found marijuana? 161 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,753 This is incredible! 162 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:20,754 - Oh, no! 163 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,456 Get that weak chin off me! 164 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,825 - They found marijuana! 165 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,795 He was high! 166 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,130 - I hate him. 167 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,134 - We definitely need smocks 168 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:36,837 - Hello, Clarice. 169 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,138 - [screams] 170 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,574 - [chuckles] - Oh, gross, stop. 171 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:45,413 - It's crazy how much Kyle stuff we have to throw away. 172 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,516 Corporate really put their money on "not a cannibal." 173 00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,951 - Oh, God, they used to make us wear this suit 174 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,085 to hand out flyers. 175 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,488 - Dare you to put it on. 176 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,656 - No. No, thank you. 177 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,790 - Oh, okay, fine. No, I get it. 178 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:57,858 You don't want to put on the cloud suit 179 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,461 because you've already got a big chicken suit on 180 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,663 'cause you're a big chicken. 181 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,831 - Oh, my God. 182 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,500 Is that supposed to pressure me into putting the suit on? 183 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:07,568 - [groans] 184 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,402 You're right, you're right. 185 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,504 Doing awesome things is overrated. 186 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,406 Just go back to painting. 187 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,141 - [scoffs] 188 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,176 Well, grab an umbrella 189 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,079 'cause there's a cloud moving in. 190 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,080 Psssh. 191 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,181 - What does that even mean? 192 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,483 Oh, my God! You're doing it. 193 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,684 Okay, sorry. Say your cool line again. 194 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,985 Say it. - Well, grab-- 195 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,053 no, we're past it. 196 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,689 - * Go, go, go, go 197 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:29,823 * Go, go 198 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,493 [hip-hop music] 199 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,561 - Isn't that terrible? 200 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:37,598 Today, of all days, she's dressed like the killer. 201 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,099 Why would she do that? 202 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,601 - [gasps] - Hi. 203 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,035 - Oh. 204 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,504 - Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. 205 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,706 I wouldn't let my kids touch that. 206 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,041 - It says on your website that all your rooms 207 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,076 have Animal Planet. 208 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,110 - Hey there. 209 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,613 I noticed you were on the phone. 210 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,582 - No, it's not life or death, it's just, you know, 211 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,149 at the end of a hard day, sometimes you want to come home 212 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,519 and watch some monkeys swinging around on the trees. 213 00:06:58,552 --> 00:06:59,520 - I'm just gonna come back later. 214 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,490 - I'm sorry, could you hold on one second please? 215 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,057 Hey. 216 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,125 There's something I'd like to ask you, 217 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,461 but I feel a little weird about it. 218 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,596 - Oh, no. Please, please. 219 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,731 - Yeah? - Yep, ask away. 220 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,601 - Somebody vomited in the ladies room, 221 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,836 multiple stalls. 222 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:18,138 Would you mind? 223 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,607 - Of course. 224 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,609 - Great, thank you. Thanks. 225 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,843 I appreciate that. 226 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,845 Hi, yes, while I have you on the phone, 227 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,080 I wanted to ask you why the curtains were gone 228 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,249 when I got back last night. 229 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,051 I'd prefer to have them. 230 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,753 - Just louder. - I'm hungry. 231 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,754 - What is wrong with her? - [growling] 232 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,188 I'm hungry. [growling] 233 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,624 - Amy. 234 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,092 What are you wearing that for? 235 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,093 - Be--Jonah-- 236 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,061 - Ah, buh, buh, buh, buh. 237 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,265 - I'm dressed in this costume to show my support 238 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,067 for the cannibal lifestyle. 239 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,235 [growls] 240 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,503 - Oh. 241 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,204 Oh, well, as it turns out, 242 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,507 Kyle was not a cannibal. 243 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,643 He was only killing and eating people 244 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,211 because he was high on marijuana. 245 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:01,949 What? 246 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,818 - It's just that I don't think that marijuana turns people 247 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:05,953 into murderers. 248 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:10,658 - Otherwise we'd literally be surrounded by killers. 249 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:14,194 - You don't think people in this store do marijuana, do you? 250 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:16,730 - I mean... 251 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,732 - Uh, probably. 252 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,901 - Well, how--how many of them? 253 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,202 - Like... 254 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,171 [device beeps] 255 00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,205 Half. 256 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,707 - Half? 257 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,577 Wait, half do, or half don't? 258 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,312 - [stammering] - It's both. 259 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,346 - [screaming] Both? 260 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,817 - Okay, so, tummy time is literally just a baby 261 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,652 spending time on its tummy. 262 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:39,519 Hmm. 263 00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:42,556 - Wait, she's gonna turn her head... 264 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,224 now. 265 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,560 Nope, now. 266 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,228 Nope, now. 267 00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,229 Nope. [phone buzzing] 268 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,900 Oh, sorry, guys, bad timing. 269 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:56,837 Hi, Bo, I was just showing them the tummy time video. 270 00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:00,240 No, not that one, the good one. 271 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,241 - This has got to stop. 272 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,275 - Thank you. 273 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,712 - She is breaking an unspoken social contract. 274 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,714 You show one photo. 275 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:07,748 One. 276 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,317 And we all say it's the cutest baby we ever seen 277 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,620 even if it's creepy, which it is, 278 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,187 because it's a shrunken-down human, 279 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,856 and then we all move on with our lives. 280 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,858 - I mean, I have a ton of photos of my dogs, 281 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,594 but no one wants to see those. 282 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,195 Right? 283 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,196 - Right. 284 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,197 - Yeah. 285 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,899 Not even the one where they're dressed as Ewoks. 286 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,170 - All right, you know I got to see that. 287 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,338 Okay, come on now. 288 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,173 Oh, no. 289 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,174 - Yeah. - [laughs] 290 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,709 Little Ewok dog. 291 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,877 You stealing a speeder? 292 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,779 You can't drive a speeder, Ewok dog. 293 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,380 [upbeat music] 294 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,882 - Hey, Cody. 295 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:42,883 - Hey. 296 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,318 - Hey. Just ignore me. 297 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,793 [sniffing] 298 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,766 Just wanted to tell you I value you. 299 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,634 [chuckles] 300 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:01,669 - Thank you. 301 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,403 I appreciate that. 302 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,739 I'm going to go over there, okay? 303 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,343 - [sniffing] 304 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,680 - If you're smelling the workers, you gotta smell Elias. 305 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,048 On Thursdays he smells like ham. 306 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,917 It's hilarious. 307 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,653 - Dina, do you think that marijuana could've had anything 308 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,054 to do with what Kyle did? 309 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,322 - That's just about the stupidest thing 310 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,323 you've ever said. 311 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,058 - [sighs] Fine. 312 00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:26,927 I'm just wondering if I have to start 313 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,396 drug testing the employees. 314 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,965 - But you always say that you don't want to do that. 315 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:35,836 - I know, but if the alternative is someone in this store 316 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:36,937 getting eaten. 317 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,439 - Oh, wow. Ooh. 318 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,876 Well, to be safe, I mean, I could do a surprise 319 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,312 comprehensive drug test, but that's your call. 320 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,379 I mean, I could go either way. 321 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,248 Do it, don't do it. 322 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,818 I mean, if I had to decide, I guess I'm leaning towards 323 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,385 do it. 324 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,456 - Yes. Okay. 325 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,691 Go for it. 326 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:58,692 - It's up to you. 327 00:10:58,726 --> 00:10:59,893 [chuckles] 328 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,896 [laughs] 329 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:07,100 * 330 00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,436 I'm coming for you, Tommy Chong. 331 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,771 I'm coming for you. 332 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:16,977 - How much longer do I have? 333 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,479 - Three minutes. 334 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,750 You can just give up. 335 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:23,683 - Nope! 336 00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:27,054 I take not being a chicken very seriously. 337 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,325 I'm doing a dare. 338 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,261 I'm winning. 339 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,064 - The test will detect any drugs in your system. 340 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,366 We're talking marijuana, cocaine, heroin, 341 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,467 methamphetamines. 342 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,069 - What about power pellets? 343 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,073 - I don't see that. What are they? 344 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,741 - Oh, you just take some big boppers, 345 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,877 you cut in some fetty wap, you put a little disco shake 346 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:53,180 on there, and then you roll that up in some Doc McStuffins. 347 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,748 Smoke it. 348 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:56,316 Get real high. 349 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,919 - All right, we're gonna be testing for everything, okay? 350 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:01,855 - Excuse me, I just remembered I have to leave early. 351 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:05,225 I have a thing at the place. - What place? 352 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,761 - That place. You know, the one we talked about earlier. 353 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:08,862 - You talked to me about it? 354 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,465 - Yeah, I filled out an application and Brett saw it, 355 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,134 he said it's cool, so... 356 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,402 - You spoke to Brett about it? 357 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,805 Okay, nobody is leaving until I get three ounces of yellow, 358 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:18,806 all right? 359 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,507 [all groan] 360 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:24,878 - Okay, look, everyone, Dina has my full support on this. 361 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,214 Okay, this is for your protection. 362 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,916 - Look, people, if you haven't done any drugs 363 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,551 in the last 72 hours, you have nothing to worry about. 364 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,287 - What about way too much wine? 365 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,289 I'm so bad. [laughs] 366 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,791 - Justine, you're not an alcoholic. 367 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,126 Stop bragging. 368 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,130 - Attention Cloud 9 shoppers: 369 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,497 we hope you're having a lovely day. 370 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,367 If you have any questions or concerns, 371 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,403 please find our lead salesman, Charles. 372 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,571 - Is there anything we should know about him? 373 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,506 - [sighs] He is in charge. 374 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,510 * Charles in charge 375 00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,446 * Of our days 376 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,414 * And our nights 377 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,516 * Charles in charge 378 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,385 * Of our wrongs 379 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,420 * And our rights 380 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,555 * And I sing 381 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,423 * I want 382 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:15,262 * I want Charles in charge 383 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,197 * Of me 384 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,367 [sighs] 385 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,403 [singing in Spanish] 386 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,176 - Hey, Mateo. - Hey. 387 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,278 - Hi. 388 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,180 Do you think I could have your number? 389 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:34,181 - My number? 390 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,182 [clears throat] 391 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:38,285 Sure, you can have my number. 392 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,553 It's 314... - Mm-hmm. 393 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:41,754 - 982. - Got it. 394 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:47,294 Employee number 314982 is getting a letter of commendation 395 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,962 in his file. 396 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,498 - Oh. 397 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,000 - For cleaning up the vomit. 398 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,501 - Yeah. 399 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,337 - You are a good vomit mopper. 400 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,241 - Damn. 401 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,443 It is getting steamy in here. 402 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,445 - [sighs] 403 00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,281 - I'm just saying, usually one person dares 404 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,950 and then the other person has to do it. 405 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,284 You--you understand that, right? 406 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,519 - Yep, I get it. 407 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,786 I just don't want you to have all the fun. 408 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,423 - Oh, listen, if you want to do this thing alone, by all means. 409 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,424 - Nope. - I have no problem-- 410 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,525 - All right, hold on. 411 00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,227 [both yelling] 412 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,228 - Sorry! Sorry! 413 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,329 Move out of the way! 414 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,931 - Hands up! - Okay, okay! 415 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:24,932 - [yelling] 416 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:25,933 [laughs] 417 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,367 - [clears throat] 418 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,437 - Hey, guys. 419 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,939 - Hey, Jeff. - Hi, Jeff. 420 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,241 - What are you doing? 421 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,077 - Product testing. 422 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,946 - Product testing. 423 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,380 - Okay. 424 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,350 - Bye, Jeff. 425 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,484 - [laughs] 426 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:46,453 [whispering] That was awesome. 427 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,320 - Yep. One more time? 428 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,089 - Yeah. - How do we get back there? 429 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,457 - Let's--I don't know. 430 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,492 Shimmy over? - [grunts] 431 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,360 - Yes, yes, we're get-- we're doing it. 432 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,362 - Is it moving? - We're getting it. 433 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,031 - Hey, how's it going? - Great. 434 00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,500 We get the results tomorrow and I'll call everyone who's fired. 435 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,102 Actually, I'll just call those who aren't fired. 436 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,636 It'll save me some time. 437 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:07,074 - No, I don't want to start firing people. 438 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:10,510 Okay, look, maybe we shouldn't be doing this. 439 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,511 [liquid sloshing] 440 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:12,512 - Look, I get it. 441 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,613 You love these people. 442 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:16,083 I do too, but we told them there would be a urine test, 443 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,518 so we have to follow through on this or they won't respect us. 444 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:19,652 - I--I don't believe that's true. 445 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,354 - It is true. 446 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,356 They'll think we're weak and they'll think we're liars. 447 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,025 Is that who we are? 448 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,459 Huh? 449 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:27,694 Are we weak liars? 450 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,363 - No, we're strong truth tellers. 451 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,099 - Heck yeah we are. Pep up. 452 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,533 The lab comes at 5:00. 453 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,568 * 454 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,405 You know that's human urine, right? 455 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:42,842 - When she's hungry, it's like... 456 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,512 [low-pitched wail] 457 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,181 But when she's tired, it's like... 458 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:49,582 [low-pitched wail] 459 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,717 And when she's-- 460 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,220 - Just shut up about the baby! 461 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,555 - Oh. 462 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,590 Um, okay. 463 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:58,558 - What? 464 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,660 - What, was I talking too much about the baby? 465 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:01,961 I can stop. 466 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,232 - Oh. 467 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,733 - Great. Well, thank you. 468 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:09,669 I mean, it's not that we don't want to hear about your baby, 469 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,439 it's just that it's been a lot. 470 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,640 - No, I understand. 471 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,443 It's like you with your sneakers. 472 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,310 - What you mean? 473 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,212 - Oh, you know, how you're always like, 474 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,748 "Oh, yeah, I just ordered my pair of retro Jordans 475 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,483 that are coming in two days." 476 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,452 - "You can only get these kicks in Japan." 477 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,256 [both laugh] 478 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,257 - Wow. 479 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,559 Really seeing everybody's true colors today. 480 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,560 [both laugh] 481 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,561 Real cool. 482 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:37,064 [both laughing] 483 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,765 - [speaks indistinctly] 484 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,371 - Well, I'm taking off. 485 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:45,672 - All right, have a good night. 486 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,474 - I gotta stop by the hotel first. 487 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:51,244 I guess there was some kind of a rodent/bedbug fire. 488 00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,613 So that's-- 489 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,749 and after that, though, I was gonna hit the new Italian place. 490 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:57,750 Are you busy? 491 00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:58,918 - Nope. 492 00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,753 Oh, let me guess, you want me to clean up that dead pigeon 493 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:01,921 in aisle six? 494 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,724 - No, I was just wondering if you wanted to get dinner. 495 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,595 - You mean, like, pick it up for you? 496 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,631 - No, I mean, like, take you out to dinner 497 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,633 to the Italian place that I just mentioned. 498 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,469 Have you never been asked out on a date before? 499 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:17,770 - You're asking me out on a date? 500 00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:18,771 - Uh-huh. 501 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,773 - [laughs] I knew it! 502 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,309 Oh, I thought, but then Garrett-- 503 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:23,310 [clears throat] 504 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,312 Ha! I knew it. 505 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,846 - So is that a yes? 506 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,316 - Oh. 507 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,318 I haven't even really thought about that. 508 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,786 I usually don't date white guys, but you know what? 509 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:34,854 Sure, why not? 510 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,356 - Great. 511 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,391 - Oh, my God, I cannot wait to tell Garrett 512 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,526 that I was right about this. 513 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,693 I'm gonna rub it in his stupid face. 514 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,363 - Well, you see, this is where it gets a little touchy. 515 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,566 Just as a manager, I shouldn't really be dating any employees, 516 00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,669 so we would have to keep this between us 517 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,804 if that's okay. 518 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,306 - Yeah. 519 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,341 You're the boss. 520 00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,680 I should really get on that dead pigeon. 521 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:01,848 - Yes, I didn't want to ask 522 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,683 'cause I didn't want to ruin the moment. 523 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,686 - Hey, Glenn. - Mm. 524 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:07,687 - What's going on? 525 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,723 - Oh, I'm just having a bad day. 526 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,824 - You want to talk about it? 527 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,826 I'm happy to be your blender. 528 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:14,861 - My blender? 529 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:18,465 - Yeah, you know, like, you give me your thoughts 530 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,168 and your feelings, and I'll mix 'em up and give you back 531 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,436 something real good. 532 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,738 - Okay, I'm not sure I made the right decision 533 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,375 about this whole drug testing thing. 534 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,343 - Yeah, it's a bit extreme. 535 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:34,914 Sort of like a--it's like a watermelon-sized reaction. 536 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:35,815 - Watermelon. - Yeah. 537 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:39,486 - It's just, I was so wrong about Kyle. 538 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,921 It makes me question how much I really know the people 539 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:42,922 around here. 540 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,924 - Sure, you don't know everything about everyone, 541 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,726 but you know the important stuff. 542 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:50,497 Like, you know that Garrett is a can of soup. 543 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,765 You know, he's hard on the outside, 544 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,802 but warm and soft on the inside. 545 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,437 - He is a can of soup. 546 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,305 - Yeah. 547 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:01,941 And Cheyenne is-- Cheyenne's a yoga mat. 548 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,711 She's colorful and she's fun, 549 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,580 and--then also she's, like, a little thick. 550 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:08,615 - Yeah. Ah. 551 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,616 - Yeah, yeah. 552 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:14,554 And--and Jonah is an alarm clock. 553 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,624 He's just, like, so annoying in the morning. 554 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,958 - So annoying. 555 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,393 - Yeah, you just kinda wanna-- 556 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:21,394 [both groan] 557 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,630 - I'd like to throw him at the wall some days. 558 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,731 - Right? 559 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,967 And you're the golf club. You know? 560 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,504 You're--you're the one that-- 561 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,540 you're the one that-- 562 00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:34,507 [sighs] 563 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,909 - That drives the worker balls 564 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:40,613 soaring towards their full potential. 565 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:41,981 - Yes. - Yeah! 566 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,616 - Exactly. 567 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,652 - Thank you, Amy. 568 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,554 You've really got a way with words. 569 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,755 - Thank you. 570 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:52,959 - Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go tee off on someone. 571 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,930 - [clapping] 572 00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:01,634 - [vocalizing] 573 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,803 - Dina, cancel the tests. 574 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,538 The golf club is here. 575 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:06,739 - What are you talking about? 576 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:09,542 - I'll tell you what I'm talking about. 577 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,244 We... - Whoa, whoa! 578 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,545 - Don't... 579 00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:13,946 need... 580 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,248 these... 581 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,849 anymore. 582 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,920 - My coffee cup's in there. 583 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,724 - Yes, it is. 584 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,762 - [sighs] 585 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,498 Okay, Amy. 586 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:33,800 Hey. 587 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:34,801 How's it going? 588 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,002 Good to see you. Good afternoon. 589 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:37,837 It is cold in here, isn't it? 590 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,038 They crank that A/C up. 591 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,540 I need a drink myself. 592 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,541 Hi. 593 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,542 Good afternoon. 594 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:43,543 Hey. 595 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,844 Be careful what you wish for 596 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,314 'cause you just might a-get it. 597 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,315 [laughs] 598 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,283 - Oh, hey, man. 599 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,718 - Oh, hey, Adam. 600 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,587 What--how's it--what's-- what's going on, man? 601 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:55,922 - Adam just came to pick me up. 602 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:56,923 - Yeah, me too. 603 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,825 I mean, I'm going as well. 604 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,693 It's the end of the day. 605 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:01,894 I'm tired myself. 606 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:02,795 Yeah, I get it. 607 00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,797 I was just--just coming to say good-bye. 608 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,635 I'll catch you on the flip side, all right, bro? 609 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:09,636 It's good to see you. 610 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:10,670 - Okay. 611 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,342 - So... 612 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,809 what was that about? 613 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:17,877 - Um... 614 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:18,878 nothing. 615 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,647 He's just weird. 616 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,682 - Oh, we should set him up with your brother.